Monday, December 19, 2016

Cold House. (1.3. Together separated)

“It is that we are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so helplessly unhappy as when we have lost our loved object or its love.” (Freud, 2002) 

She was looking at him, he could swear she is just so cute when she looks at him in such way, with clear curiosity, like a child.
— "What is that?" She asked him.
— "What?" He said, pretending not to know.
— "That." She said pointing out his notebook.
— "This, you mean?" He said while getting closer to her and showing her the equation.


— "Yes." She said and she didn't move, whether she was allowing him to get closer for the first time ever or she was so into it that she couldn't even notice his proximity, he couldn't know.
— "It's an equation." He said serious and she did a pout, he couldn't even say how adorable it was but it was just a second; it didn't last anymore than a second, just enough for him to see it.
— "I am not that silly. I knew that... What I want to know is if it has some kind of special meaning. I have seen it before, in tattoes and so on. Seems like it means something." She said looking at him.
— "It's Dirac's equation." He said, absorbed in her glance. She barely looks at him in the eyes, especially being this close to him so he was fascinated.
— "Thanks." She said and he could noticed she was annoyed. She started moving and he knew he had to say something before she stands up, because otherwise he wouldn't be able to enjoy one more minute next to her.
— "Wait!" He said aloud, nearly screaming and she leaped a little.


— "You scared me." She said disconcerted while looking at him.
— "Dirac's equation." He answer breathless, then he divert his look trying to focus on his own speech. "Entangled, you know? Quantum entanglement, it says that two systems that have been entangled will always influenced in each other even if separated." He said and he couldn't believe her level of sensitivity, because when he looked at her again she seemed to be close to tears.
— "It's beautiful." It was all she said. 
— "Did I say something wrong?" He asked, a bit disturbed.
— "No, you just described us perfectly... You're always asking me about him, this equation match us perfectly. See? He and I may be separated, but we'll always be together, we're together separated; he'll always be part of me and I hope to be part of him; there will always be things about him influencing my life, as I hope there will be things, even if few, about me influencing his. It's beautiful." She said crying for real now with some kind of sad happiness.
— "I see." He said, asking himself if it was worthy to keep on trying with her, giving up didn't seem to be something reasonable, but trying a move on a soul who was far away from a long time ago, and even embraced in some other's man soul, didn't seem the most intelligent move. "Do you still love him that much?" He asked hurt in advanced for her answer.
— "With all my heart. He's the love of my soul." She said and he noticed the man before him was not around physically but never left spiritually and how admirable that was; of course, it was understanding. For a girl as amazing as her to be caught up, only an awesome boy could've done it and him, whoever he was, should be incredibly awesome.
 — "I hope you can meet him again and I hope this time you both will be together forever. You deserve to be happy and I guess he's the only one allowed to bring back the warmness to this place." He said and for the first time ever, he saw the brightest smile over her face, she was undoubtedly in love. 
"No one else but him." She answered pleased.

[First part: http://handsofaheart.blogspot.com/2016/10/cold-house.html ]
[Second part: http://handsofaheart.blogspot.com/2016/12/cold-house-12.html ]

Reference:
Freud, S. (2002). Civilization and Its Discontents. London, United Kingdom: Penguin.

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